June 24, 2019
This week's edition of MamaFuel: The Podcast is chock full of firsts. I realised recently that the conversations on the podcast weren't fully representative of all mamas, so I'm trying to do better by consciously broadening the scope of people I'm talking to. I asked this week's guests to be on the podcast a long time ago, and I'm delighted that our conversation is the first in what I hope will be a much more diverse series of conversations.
I'm thrilled to introduce you to Nick and Katherine North, a queer couple with a breathtaking love story, a transgender dad and a whole house full of kids (plus a very naughty puppy). Nick and Katherine are the first couple I've had on the show and Nick's the first dad I've welcomed. I couldn't think of better guests to have as my "firsts" in so many ways.
In this week's conversation Nick and Katherine tell us about their introductions into motherhood via abortion (Katherine's first mothering decision), traumatic birth, separation, post-natal depression and so much more. Hearing Nick explain how he tried to be a "good mom" and finding his joy in birthing babies really tugged at my heart.
I loved hearing how Katherine and Nick prepared for so long to tell their kids about Nick transitioning to Dad, only to find that their kids weren't that fussed -- as long as Dad gave as much love as Mom, which he does. We also talked about coming out, and how transgender people are endlessly required to explain their identity and how they present to the world. Nick and Katherine live in a very conservative community, and it was heartening to hear how their friends and the broader world rallied to support them as Nick transitioned (and continues to).
Any parent who has a gender curious child will want to listen particularly closely to the part where Nick and Katherine express what every transgender child needs to hear and feel: that they are loved NO MATTER WHAT. No ifs, ands or buts. Simply loved. Nick's message that transgender kids (and their parents) don't have to do ANYTHING to make anyone else feel better, and that their only job it to make themselves feel ok really resonated with me. Everyone else will take care of themselves. It's also not a parent's job to make anyone else feel better about their kid or themselves. Other people's opinions are other people's business. Period.
There's so much more I could share about this conversation, but honestly: LISTEN. Again and again. And follow Nick and Katherine, support them and any LGBTQI people in your community. Because everyone could use more love. Deepest thanks to Katherine and Nick for this great conversation.
To hear a rich account of Nick and Katherine's love story, do yourself a favour and listen to this amazing podcast in which they explain how their love unfolded. I'll be listening again and again.
My favourite places to follow this amazing pair of luminous beings is on Nick's Instagram here, on Katherine's Instagram here, and on Nick's web site and Katherine's web site (her newsletter is, hands down, the best and most precious writing dropping into my inbox. ever.).
I'd LOVE to hear what you thought of this episode, if you have any questions and what this conversation sparks in you. The best way to engage in the conversation is to come into the Virtual Village over on Facebook. It's our free community, and I'd love to welcome you there.
During our conversation, I mentioned the new decision from Mastercard to allow transgender people to choose the name on their credit cards. Check out the moving video they released about this industry first. Bravo Mastercard.